January 21, 2002 - Vol. 13, No. 17

 News That Concerns Kiwanians and Their Families


Dan Fisher

Senior Members
Bob Turner, Dick Breton, Dennis Denoncourt

Randy Parradee, Paul Scull, L.R.G. Healthcare Dental Resource Center externs, with Sr. Member Dick Breton

Win a Classic!
Pres. Phil Bonafide passed out sign-up sheets for our next two roadshows. Next up is the Bayside Expo Center swap meet, February 2 and 3. After that it will be Rockingham Park on February 9 and 10. Shifts will run from 9:30a-2:00p and 2:00p-6:00p. Already on board are Dick Breton, Warren Mitchell, Kathy Calvin, Joe Collie, Jim Fortier, Roger and Pam Landry. There are still many slots to be filled for our last two big money-makers before Motorcycle Week. Now's your chance to step up and help our major fundraiser along.

Governor Visits
Gov. Steve Hill will be visiting our division (and others), Saturday, February 2, at the Grappone Conference Center, Concord. Cocktails are at 6p followed by a buffet dinner, presentations, and dancing. Cost is $32 per person. R.S.V.P. by January 25. Past Pres. Nancy Williams and guest will be in attendance.

Midwinter Conference
The Crowne Plaza Hotel, Worcester, Mass. will be the site of the New England Midwinter Conference on March 1-3.

Struttin' Our Stuff
Pres. Phil Bonafide reports that we have been invited by the Concord Club to march in their parade on Thursday, May 16, at 6p. We will also be allowed to set up our roadshow for raffle ticket sales.

Laconia Kiwanis on parade November last.

Photo by Marie Perkins


Pres. Phil Bonafide would like all members to review the bylaws and suggest any changes they feel would be in the best interests of the club. The bylaws are now online
here or by clicking the links that will appear on all new Kronikle pages.

Diamond Anniversary
Treas. Chet Cilley reports that he will be getting advertising information to everyone for our 75th anniversary supplement that will appear in The Citizen. He will also be acting as editor of the publication.

Let's RIF
Chair Joe Adrignola has ordered the books for the Reading Is FUNdamental program. We will be distributing books to students at Elm St. and Pleasant St. Schools on March 6 and at Woodland Heights on March 27. Volunteers will be needed. He would also like the Publicity Committee to put material together for the media.

Sgt.@Arms Nancy Parrott found Dennis Denoncourt for being pinless and tardy.

It's Tufts to Be a Dentist
Paul Scull advises that he and fellow Tufts Senior, Randy Parradee, will be continuing their externships at the Dental Resource Center through May. He reports that it has been a "great experience for [us]...a real eye-opener."

Guest Speaker
Sr. Member Dick Breton introduced dental hygienist Ginny Barunas to the club. She displayed the contents of one of the education kits we subsidized. It contains her teddybear-like tooth puppet, Buddy, tooth model and large demonstration toothbrush, brushing and flossing chart, 6-min. video, teaching guides, curriculum, and two story books. She is currently examining students at Elm St. School. Barunas points out that February is Childrens' Dental Health Month. When training and screening is done in Gilmanton, she will be moving on to Pleasant St. School. She reports that Crest toothpaste is offering kits at a cost of $.69 each to be distributed to students. Contained is a high-quality toothbrush, toothpaste, and brushing chart with stickers. All first-grade classes may order free kits directly from Crest. Belmont PTA will pay for half of the 380 student body. We must decide which fraction of the 1569 who are in the rest of our program in Laconia and Gilford. Last year, 788 were screened there with 150 receiving the preventive program's cleaning.

Sr. Member Dick Breton, Dental Hygienist Ginny Barunas and Buddy, Paul Scull and Randy Parradee, Tufts externs to the Dental Resource Center

Photo by Michael Bastraw


Happy Dollars
Joe Collie came up with five dollars for shaking hands with Pres. Bush, The Citizen doing a good article on his new morning radio show, his fiancee being with child, they found a new two-bedroom house, and for the New England Patriots winning Saturday last sending them to their last game before the Super Bowl.

A Report from the West
"Giddy-up Little Doggie"
Wed, 16 Jan 2002 14:45:37 -0700
by Sr. Member Roger Webster, Our Arizona War Correspondent

Another fine day in Az. Temp is 62 degrees, cloudy and continued lousy weather until next Tuesday. Visited Pima Air Museum in Tucson yesterday where they park over 7000 aircraft (mostly military jets) and helicopters in the desert. Some are being chopped up for scrap, i.e., B-52's. Row after row of your tax dollars at work. Busy with the local Kiwanis Club with flea markets and Shots for Tots. Next month being interviewed by one of the Builders Clubs at a local school on the KOREAN WAR. Sorry you fellows can't be there. I will try to save a few stories for you.


Shriners' Roadshow Revisited
Here are some more pix from the camera of Steve Loughlin at our last roadshow.

Past Lt. Gov. Tony Romano's clone is impressed by Pres. Phil Bonafide's lachrymal sales technique.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Words fail me--send in your own caption.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


While effective, Pres. Phil Bonafide's hypnotic approach is wasted on a minor with no cash.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Jill and Sylvia steady the bike for Steve "Four Wheels" Loughlin.

Photo by Michael Bastraw


One cannot be too proud to beg when sales are at stake.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Bruno the Bodyguard scans the room as his charge, Vi, hopes she takes in enough to pay him.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Groveland Firefighter Mike Smith and antagonist.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Tony Romano Mk. II studies the operation.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


The Bill Holman Memorial Humor Department--for Paul, Joe, Phil, Kathy, and the Rest of Us
Submitted by Barbara Benn

The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide.

Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me." Q: Did he kill you?

Q: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

Q: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: How long have you been a French Canadian?

Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture. A: That's me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: I'll be three months on November 8. Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8? A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time?

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? A: I used to be.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So you were gone until you returned?

Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there girls?

Q: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

Q: Were you acquainted with the defendant? A: Yes, sir. Q: Before or after he died?

Judge: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information from your minds, if you have any.

Q: When he went, had you gone and had she,if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? Opposing attorney: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

Q: What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A: She is my daughter. Q: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct? A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for breathing?" A: "No." Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" A: "No." Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Monday, February 25

Monday, February 19
Sgt. Robert Bryant, N.H. Fish & Game will provide a special Powerpoint presentation.

Monday, February 11
David Stamps will speak on the Laconia Main Street project.

Monday, February 4
Boards meet; NISE

Monday, January 28
Our guest speakers will include Carol Pierce, Laconia Human Relations Committee


Michael Bastraw

Kiwanis Kronikle is a weekly publication of the Kiwanis Club of Laconia, N.H., P.O. Box 757, Laconia, N.H. 03247-0757. We meet Mondays at 6:15 p.m. at the Pheasant Ridge Country Club, Country Club Rd., Gilford, N.H. Please call your President or Secretary about any Member or family member in case of illness. Email: Michael Bastraw or Steve Loughlin

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