March 21, 2005 - Vol. 16, No. 25

 News That Concerns Kiwanians and Their Families


Roger Landry

Senior Members
Peter Karagianis, Ed Merski

Honorary Member
Dick Breton

Past Pres. Larry Murphy can't believe that Hon. Member Dick Breton is willing to swear to tell the truth.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin

Pres. Paul Cotton reports that we received a thank-you note from Camp Spaulding for our $1650 donation to allow three youths to attend. We have also been invited to visit this summer--they actually have a Kiwanis Day at some point.

Win a Classic!
Pres. Paul Cotton noted the participation of Warren Mitchell, Michael Bastraw, and himself at the Winnipesaukee Expo last weekend. Our next roadshow will be in Portland, April 16/17. Past Pres. Nancy Williams also turned over ticket money from sales at Meredith Village Savings Bank.

Ha-Ha Funny
Pres. Paul Cotton still has two donated tickets to the Comedy Night band fundraiser, Laconia High School Auditorium, March 25, 7p-9p (doors open at 6:30p). The show will feature three Boston-area comedians.

Aloha, Kiwanis
Pres. Paul Cotton reminded everyone that the International Convention will be in Hawaii this year, July 2-5. Anyone interested in attending may expect financial assistance from the club.

Let's Get a Lt. Gov.
Pres. Paul Cotton advises that the Division Caucus will be on Saturday, April 9, 1p, in Portsmouth. The main order of business will be election of a new Lt. Gov. This is also a possible interclub opportunity.

Education Fair
Past Pres. Joe Adrignola advised that he plans to have a Kiwanis table at the Education Fair, Memorial Middle School, March 24, 6:30p-8p. Anyone is welcome to join him. Pres. Paul Cotton will attend.

We're Invited
Past Pres. Joe Adrignola has received an invitation from Community Health & Hospice to attend their next Young Family meeting, Monday, March 28, 12n-1:30p. Pres. Paul Cotton will attend.

Chair Joe Adrignola, Larry Murphy, Kathy Calvin, Randy Brough, Bob Champlin, and Marie Ross were on hand at last Wednesday's Reading Is FUNdamental at Woodland Heights School.

We get some front page action.

Scanned by W.S. Loughlin


Interestingly, the hat is a regular part of Past Pres. Joe Adrignola's wardrobe.

Scanned by W.S. Loughlin


Matters Wolfeboro
Hon. Member Dick Breton reports that the Southern Carroll County club will be sponsoring a membership buffet, Mt. Whittier, March 30, 6p, featuring Ray Burton, N.H. Governor's Council, as speaker. Anyone interested in attending should contact him at 524-1225 (h).

Immediate Past Pres. reported that 22 members attended the service for Sr. Member Bob Turner Saturday last at the Congregational Church. Click
here for his obituary.


Scanned by W.S. Loughlin


Jim Fortier/Joe Adrignola, $14

Past Presidents Joe Adrignola and Jim Fortier a) take the money, b) cash-in again, or c) share their ill-gotten goods as it's unthinable that anyone else in the club should ever win again....ever.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Sgt.-at-Arms Roger Landry found Joe Collie pinless.

Happy Dollars
Jim Fortier and Joe Adrignola had $2 for winning the 50/50; Warren Mitchell for Jeff Stone getting a Stafford Oil red pull-on; Roger Landry for something else; and Anne Huff had $2 for being invited to speak.

Jeff Stone's new shirt which allowed him to sit next to Past Pres. Nancy Williams.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin

Hello, Leo
Hon. Member Dick Breton reports that he has been in contact with Past Pres. Leo Sasseville who is doing OK other than having a new relative in the household. (He also missed Charlie St. Clair twice in Florida. Jennifer Anderson was there but Charlie had yet to show.)

Guest Speaker
This writer introduced Lakes Facilitator Anne Huff, N.H. Connections, (and a former Concord Kiwanian) to the club. This organization is a statewide initiative, funded by the Department of Education. The mission is to work with families, schools, and community members to improve student achievement, while meeting the unique needs of students with disabilities. Each of the five regions has a network of 15-20 individuals who meet monthly and create action plans to address established goals. Members consist of parents, educators, administrators, service providers, community members, and elected officials. Maneuvering Through the Maze is their resource guide to help families obtain access to the supports and services that would be helpful to them in the care of their children with special needs. Also on hand was Lakes Region members Marie Perkins and our own Sec.'y Kathy Calvin. For further information contact Anne Huff at 848-4251 or go to

Lakes Member Marie Perkins, Lakes Facilitator Anne Huff, N.H. Connections, and Pres. Paul Cotton

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


How Do These People Survive?
Submitted by Sr. Member Ed Chertok by way of Maxine Derby
ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have a half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said ! to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the do! or, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!
"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

Monday, April 25
Sheriff Dan Collis will speak on his recent trip to Japan.

Monday, April 18

Monday, April 11
Dr. Jack Polidoro will speak.

Monday, April 4
Boards meet; NISE

Monday, March 28
Bob Selig, Laconia Public Library, will be the guest speaker.


Michael Bastraw

Kiwanis Kronikle is a weekly publication of the Kiwanis Club of Laconia, N.H., P.O. Box 757, Laconia, N.H. 03247-0757. We meet Mondays at 6:15 p.m. at the Pheasant Ridge Country Club, Country Club Rd., Gilford, N.H. Please call your President or Secretary about any Member or family member in case of illness. Email: Michael Bastraw or Steve Loughlin

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In Memory of Max Chertok, Charter Member - Normandin, Cheney, & O'Neil - Byse Agency - Baron's Major Brands - Wilkinson-Beane Funeral Home - Decorative Interiors - Laconia Savings Bank - Meredith Village Savings Bank - Martin, Lord & Osman, P.A. - The Village Bank - Hart's Turkey Farm Restaurant - Quik Laundry & Cleaners - Stafford Oil Company, Inc. - The Home Beautiful - Cantin Chevrolet/Mitsubishi


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