July 5, 2004 - Vol. 15, No. 40

 News That Concerns Kiwanians and Their Families



Senior Members

Win a Classic!
Here are some more photos from Motorcycle Week.

And they just keep on coming.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Pres.-Elect Paul Cotton waves 'em in.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Everyone loves the Weirs.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Steve Loughlin: herpaphile.

Photo by The Owner


Billboards--not just for roadsides anymore.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Arline Fortier loads one up.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Charlie St. Clair and Jennifer Anderson representing the Laconia Motorcycle Rally and Race Week

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Sheriff Dan Collis and Past Pres. Paul Cotton preside over the drawing.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


And the crowd is ready for the big moment.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


And the winner is...

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Ride it in good health and thanx to everyone else for donating to the cause.

Photo by W.S. Loughlin


Happy Birthday
July babies include Sr. Member Roger Ballantyne, Russ Beane, Hon. Member Max Wakeman, and Pres.-Elect Paul Cotton.

Great Truths That Adults Have Learned
Submitted by Sr. Member Ed Chertok
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Performance Appraisal from OER
Submitted by Sr. Member Ed Chertok
These are actual lines out of OER (Officer Efficiency Report )--performance appraisal for the military.
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
- A room temperature IQ.
- A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
- A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
- A prime candidate for natural deselection.
- Bright as Alaska in December.
- One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
- Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
- Fell out of the family tree.
- Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
- Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
- He's so dense, light bends around him.
- If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
- If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
- If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
- One neuron short of a synapse.
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
- Takes him 1-1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
- Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
- Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

Lakes Region United Way Outing
by Dir. Randy Eifert, Lakes Region United Way
All Golfers interested in supporting the Lakes Region United Way...We'd love to
have you join us for our 17th annual golf outing, to be held on August 6th. Click
here to save the invitation and registration form in PDF format which will open using Adobe Acrobat Reader. If you are not a golfer, but know someone who is, please forward this information on to them. It is a fun event and all proceeds support over 40 central NH non-profit caregiving agencies. Thanks for listening!

Monday, August 9

Monday, August 2
Boards meet; NISE

Monday, July 26
Club vote on purchase of a motorcycle for next year's raffle.

Monday, July 19


Pres. Warren Mitchell and Paulette and Steve Loughlin are on board for the Fourth of July Parade.

Photo by Craig Beane


Michael Bastraw

Kiwanis Kronikle is a weekly publication of the Kiwanis Club of Laconia, N.H., P.O. Box 757, Laconia, N.H. 03247-0757. We meet Mondays at 6:15 p.m. at the Pheasant Ridge Country Club, Country Club Rd., Gilford, N.H. Please call your President or Secretary about any Member or family member in case of illness. Email: Michael Bastraw or Steve Loughlin

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In Memory of Max Chertok, Charter Member - Normandin, Cheney, & O'Neil - Byse Agency - Baron's Major Brands - Wilkinson-Beane Funeral Home - Decorative Interiors - Laconia Savings Bank - Meredith Village Savings Bank - Martin, Lord & Osman, P.A. - The Village Bank - Hart's Turkey Farm Restaurant - Quik Laundry & Cleaners - Stafford Oil Company, Inc. - The Home Beautiful - Cantin Chevrolet/Mitsubishi


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